That would be me and McKenzie. McKenzie is in rare form. Being off almost all of her medicine has made her hyper, impulsive, and very annoying-to say the least. She has been grounded in her room most of the day today for picking on Tori, talking ugly to me and her dad, and not following directions. She even grabbed me by the shirt to try and get me to stay and listen to her "BS" Excuse me, but I am sick of it all. I keep thinking how much longer can we take all this? How much longer can I take it? I want her HELP! I want it NOW! Todd suggested that we put her in the hospital but good would that do-she would just act like everything was fine and hide all of it from them. Plus, very few of her triggers would be there. I think it would be a waste of time and money. But we are getting desperate again. I just hope this Meridell thing can work out sooner rather later.
Last night I took the girls on a walk to the park and then to get pizza and ice cream. I thought it would be a fun Friday night outing but instead it turned into a battlefield with Kenz. Constant complaining, constant nagging, constant teasing and tormenting Tori-fighting with everything I said. It was unreal. I took away all of the privileges I could think of and then finally just had to put her in her room the rest of the night just so we could have a little peace. I am not sure she would have stayed except that Dad came home and when both of us are here she knows better than to mess with both of us at the same time.
I am also struggling with my depression. I think it is because of several reasons. One, I do not see immediate help for Kenz or relief from her. Two, I do not know anybody else that has young kids like me...i.e. the baby. I am too old. All of my friends have older children. It makes me feel isolated. My class that I teach is not doing so good. I usually have two classes and I only have one which leaves me with very little extra spending money and with the economy the way it is right now I need to be careful and grateful, which is hard at times. I know God has me right where He wants me and I do have a plan on what I need to do to help myself. I just need to do it. I'll share my plan in my next post.