...that is to that psychiatrist-the one we saw yesterday. In my opinion that was one of the worst doctor's appointment we have ever had. I do not even know how to explain it. But I will try.
First of all he said that McKenzie could not be bipolar because there was no bipolar in our immediate blood line-brother, sister, or parents. I guess great grandparents do not count and depression does not either. But according to what I have read depression in the blood line can also be an indicator. I think also that I have read that that bipolar does not have to be in the blood line. Todd has grandparents that were alcoholics which can be an indicator of bipolar. I need to research this some more. If anybody knows, please share. Whether she is or not there are still mood issues that need to be addressed and he only addressed the ADHD. He did nothing to address the anxiety either. He asked Todd and I a bunch of questions about ourselves and very little about McKenzie. His thought process was that she was a mixture of us so if he found about us then he would understand her better. From what we got from him in a nutshell was that we did not understand ADHD and that we needed to change our environment to accommodate her. He basically said that if we wanted the rages to stop then we needed to figure out what triggered them and alter those triggers or stop them. Later I thought about that and thought how do I stop the trigger of Tori being sick, or do I let her be late all the time to school with no consequences, or let her watch as much T.V. as she wants and never go to bed at a decent hour and eat whatever she wants whenever she wants. That is crazy-it teaches her nothing and especially not how to deal with rules and limits. It also is a terrible example for our other children. He then proceeded to ask me what caused her rages if homework was not an issue. He assumed without asking that homework was an issue which it is not. I told him that one of the things that caused them was when she was told to get off the computer after her time was up. He then proceeded to tell us why not let her stay on the computer if it keeps her out of trouble. And yet, the therapist told us that too much computer and T.V. was not good for her brain. When I told him that, he made a face and said she could learn on the computer-that there was so much to learn. Yea right, webkinz, facebook, and gmail are such good learning tools. He kept asking me when the rages happened and he wanted me to say in the morning and evening only. He was trying to say that the rages were a result of the vyvanse wearing off. This might be the case some of the time. However, I kept telling him that the rages were unpredictable and not always in the morning or evening. He also tried to tell me that the vyvanse could be the cause of her mood issues and yet, when I told him that she was irritable and angry both on and off of the vyvanse, he said, "are you sure?" I felt like he was putting us in a box and not trying to listen and really understand McKenzie. He also did not read the letter that I faxed him until the first 3 minutes of our meeting and then he did not even read it all as I had to explain to him something that was clearly written in the letter. Todd felt he talked in circles. And when Todd asked clarification on something he answered, "Not exactly," and then never explained it further. He cut us off after 30 minutes saying we needed longer but when I told him that I tried to get a longer appointment and was told no he said nothing. He gave her an extra 25 mg. of seroquel in the afternoon when she came home from school to calm her down, told us to get her a new therapist, and that was it. He then proceeded to say come back in two months! Two Months! Forget that dude, we will not be coming back. Why do they not care? Why can't we find somebody who does? This was the head of psychiatry of Phoenix Children's Hospital! Scary! We need someone who is going to listen to us and really care and want to work with us until we figure this out for Kenzie.
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Oh my goodness! How disappointing!!! I am angry for you!! Yes, you do need a psychiatrist who is much more sympathetic and willing to go the extra mile. McKenzie is complicated and you need a real expert. Can you get her to Meridell for an outpatient eval? I will be praying!
ReplyDeleteOh Amy - I'm so sorry. All that time you waited for such a jerk! Ugh! I don't understand these types of docs - why bother going to work everyday? They are so out of the loop - so old school. They have no idea what they're talking about and act as if WE are the ones who are ignorant. NOPE!
ReplyDeleteAmy - I'm going to do some research and find you a good doc. If it takes forever, we'll find you one. I know how horrible it is dealing with this disorder EVEN when you have the most wonderful doc in the world and I cannot imagine what it's like to not have a supportive doc behind you. You should not have to live like this - and most importantly, nor should Kenzie.
I'm going to get started on this tonight and get back to you asap. Hang in there - together we can make this better. You are not alone!! ((hugs))
Also don't forget to check the CABF website because they list good psychiatrists by state.
ReplyDeleteMegan-Dr Benjamin's name is on the CABF website. It is where I first found his name last year. I don't get it. Thanks for your encouraging words. Erin- you are so kind. I have done tons of research and talked to lots of psychiatrist on the phone. We have had referrals from friends and from Todd's clients. I have called them and talked to many. A couple have panned out to be a possibility-they sound good on the phone but who really knows until you get there. I thought Phoenix children's Hospital was the best bet. These small private psychs. are also $400-500 a session and do not take insurance. We are willing to pay whatever it takes but after the experiences we have already had it is hard to trust someone and take a risk and pay that large sum again. How do you know that they are good before you go? What kind of questions do you ask? We have thought about asking them to review her case ahead of time for a smaller amount of money to see if they could help us and then deciding on whether we go or not. I talked to my pediatrician today and even she knows that Kenz has more than ADHD and she is at lost of where to send her next. She was pretty shocked with what I shared with her about this doc yesterday. I appreciate your help. I will be glad to do research if you can guide me where to start and what to ask or look for. Also, have you all heard what he told me yesterday-that in order to be bipolar you have to have it in your immediate bloodline? Thanks again for your help and support. Amy
ReplyDeleteFirst of all - I'm not sure what sort of criteria list or resource Dr. Benjamin was using to diagnose Kenzie. There is no specific criteria available for diagnosing early onset BP. There ARE criteria for adult cases that are outlined in the DSM but even in this manual, there is no such criteria that mandates that the person have an immediate bloodline relative with BP. From what I've read any sort of mental illness in the family coupled with substance abuse highly increases the chances of BP. While yes, I think that boosts the chances of an individual to be given a diagnosis of BP, I've never read that one MUST have it in their bloodline, period.
ReplyDeleteAlso, while looking I found The Desert Vista Behavioral Health Center in Mesa. Have you had any dealings with any docs here? Sounds like a large group of child/adol psychiatrists. I've found that the larger the group - the more knowledge the docs seem to have as they all talk, share experiences and histories of patients, etc with one another and just seem to be more on top of the most current trends in mental health (as is the case with the practice we take Ava to). It looks as though they have a significant amount of docs in this practice. Let me know if you've already been to one of these - otherwise, I'd give them a try!
Also - I didn't answer your questions above. My theory with any therapist, whether a doc or just a PhD/MA therapist is that you never really know if they'll work for you until you meet with them. It's a needle in a hay stack for sure. Because you may have a close friend who goes to someone whom they love and adore and you go and can't stand them - you just never know how personalities will match and whether the therapist is someone you respect. My only advice there is to go and try them. And although sexist, I'd say try female docs first. No real reason why other than I feel like they are more open to things and more sensitive. I'd go to those covered by your insurance first for sure! WTH is up with docs that don't accept insurance?!! That's completely absurd! What a turn off! And how ridiculous! They apparently only treat the wealthy mentally ill population?! Anyway - go with your instinct here. Go with those docs that have been suggested by people you trust and/or respect. Talking on the phone won't work necessarily so your best bet is an in person session. You'll know pretty soon upon meeting them whether it will work. If you know immediately that it won't - don't feel bad, just tell them there's no need to continue or waste time and leave. YOU are hiring THEM. THEY are working for you. Granted, they are the doc and have a ton of schooling but YOU know your child and your instinct here is not wrong, Amy. Don't give up - you know best and your love for Kenzie will prevail.
ReplyDeleteI second all of the above! Also, I am not bipolar (depression on my side of the family and alcoholism thought) and my husband isn't, but his dad is, and didn't show the first signs of it until he was 65! And that was after a medication "trigger" which brought out the latent bp. He has had true classic BP I since then, with several hospitalizations. My husband manifested signs of mania, very scary, after taking vyvanse. He was out of his mind for a few weeks, thought he was brilliant and everyone else was crazy, and he is not bipolar otherwise. After he stopped the vyvanse he went back to normal, and has been normal, but now I am fearful of a future "episode" should he ever need to take a steroid or something.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that the psych doc that was on the list was so dismissive. Have you joined any of the online email support groups through CABF? Those parents are a WEALTH of info, and they live all over the country, and if you asked the question about a good pdoc, you might get a better referral. I will ask for you to my group!
I'm so sorry to hear it went so badly after all your hopes for this appointment. I will continue to keep you, McKenzie, and your entire family in my prayers as you walk through this journey.
ReplyDeleteHi .ive recently been looking in to places for my son & happen to stumble on your posts .curious about your story and your childs story. Was starting to feel hopeless as a mother.i live in az but dont have much friends who understand what my family is going through or have much of a support system
ReplyDelete