Monday, February 8, 2010
First Rage in Awhile
Bad morning-Kenzie had her first bad rage in quite awhile. It was triggered by Tori being sick and getting to stay home. She felt that she had the right to be either late or also get to stay home. Then after that it was just a spiral downward-screaming and ratting and raving about everything. She even went so far as to kick the dashboard with her feet and then hit it too. The worse part was the verbal abuse Tori got all the way to school. Kenzie usually takes it out on Tori and this time it was no exception. She accused Tori of faking being sick. She talked all about how it wasn't fair that Tori always gets all of the attention and how I probably didn't even take her temperature. Which of course, I did. It's bad enough to be sick but then to have your big sister verbally abuse you for 25 minutes is just not fair. I took Tori to get a donut afterwords in hopes that it would help with the wear and tear just a little. I guess in one way it was good that this rage happened as we are seeing the psychiatrist this afternoon. She was doing so much better that I wasn't sure how I was going to adress the situation with the doctor. But now I can explain how she goes through these cycles and you never know what will set her off or if and when it will. It is so unpredictable. But man, do I hate those rages. They are scary and I hate that my other children have to deal with them too. I am an adult and can barely deal with processing that it is the sickness not really her. How can you expect a 7 year old to do that? And a baby just feels the tension and turmoil which I am sure does not help her mood either. The baby fussed most of the way home which she usually does not. You have to wonder if that was the cause of it. This morning I had to vent. Now I am done and off to get my mind set for this afternoon's appointment.
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Wow. Rages are awful. Caroline hasn't had an all out rage in a long time. Not since before Meridell. But our house has so many dents--in walls, the microwave, our entertainment center, doors--from kicking and throwing things. Two of my girls have scars on their faces from her fingernails when she was much younger. I don't think they know where they came from, it makes me so sad. That is a hallmark of bipolar disorder, is the level of violence in their meltdowns. My youngest dd who has the ring of fire ADHD which includes outbursts never has done physical damage in her meltdowns, or tried to hurt me or another child. She would just scream and cry horribly. Caroline on the other hand, would physically attack others and things and herself too eventually. I was always checking the list in the Bipolar Child book comparing ADHD to bipolar disorder because there are some similarities, but there are certain features that really stand out with bipolar disorder. Mae has never met the checklist though at times we wondered. She has a lot of mood lability though. Maybe she will develop it later in life, but let's hope not! I am not saying McKenzie is definitely bipolar, but so many things sound familiar to me.
ReplyDeleteHow did your appointment go? I'm praying that you loved the doctor and are hopeful that he/she can offer some help for your family.
ReplyDeleteSara-see my newest post and thanks for the prayers. Also, I am so bummed. My middle child is sick with a fever and looks like I can't come tomorrow. I was so looking forward to it and to going to Robyn's.
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