I hate filling out those behavior checklists for Kenzie. I can't even tell you how many I have filled out over the last four years. And now another packet full of them for Melmed Center. I am glad for the fact that they want to know as much as possible but it is painful filling them out because it just reminds me of all of her issues. And sometimes that makes me so sad. I guess sometimes because we live with it day in and out we forget the little stuff that we encounter daily. Which is good to some extreme, but it is also good to be reminded or rather be able to let the professionals know all of it. So even though I hate filling them out I do know that they are there to help figure her out and that is what we so desperately want. Thank goodness there was a part where I had to describe her strengths. This is what I wrote: She is a beautiful and talented dancer. She loves to help other people. She likes to feel needed. She loves little children and babies and she is great with them. She accepts all kinds of people and tries really hard to reach out to those who are struggling especially if she sees that they are being made fun of. She loves to give gifts to others. She has a big heart and when people that she loves are having a hard time she rises to the occasion and really tries to help or lift their spirits. She wants to be healthy and is very brave. And she loves her family very much.
Tonight she had a meltdown and was hysterical. I held her in my arms and sang to her like I did when she was a baby. It worked but it also made me cry because I could see her as that precious little baby that was so innocent, happy, and content. I so wish for that for her now.