I was told by a mutual blogger friend that her daughter takes a 48 hour holiday from amantadine once a month. She said the doctor from Meridell told them that the dopamine receptors need a break. Anyway, since our psychiatrist is so new to this medication I decided to follow her advice since it came from a very reputable source. So this morning McKenzie did not take her amantadine. Today she is loud, easily irritated, and not calm! But she also has had trouble sleeping the last few days and was up at 5:00 this morning and then woke up her sister at 7:00 by climbing in bed with her. Not sure how that helped her but what's done is done. She also is very talkative-fast, loud, and very snappy as well. Makes me wonder after all I have read lately if this is not mania coming on. Yesterday she was very irritable and that was with her taking the amantadine. So again I am confused. Does she have bipolar just not to the degree it could be? Can you have bipolar to a lesser degree than most people with bipolar? One thing we talked about at the psychiatrist last week was how all of these mental illnesses are on a continuum and they also overlap. It is so hard to get a clear diagnosis. And without a clear diagnosis it is hard to get the right combo of medications. Hell, it is hard to get the right combo of medication period. While I was writing this she just had an outburst with her dad. He couldn't handle her any longer so he sent her to her room. I guess he has tried the resets all day and he finally couldn't take it anymore. I don't blame him. She is driving me crazy and I was gone running errands for three hours. So she went to her room on her way, yelling "I hate you", screaming "I wish you weren't my father", and "Why did I marry him?" I try to stay out of it when it is between him and her. It is hard, because I struggle with supporting my husband and helping my child. I do agree with him that sometimes she just needs to be removed away from everyone else. I guess this was one of those times. She is quiet in her room and it is peaceful out here. But for how long? And what is going on in her room with her? What is she feeling? Is this mania and is she bipolar? Or is it just anxiety with hardly any sleep? Are we in for another medication change? She is so complicated that is for sure-something we all agree on. I just wish I could help her more and wish that it didn't affect the family the way it does.
Monday she goes back on the amantadine and hopefully, it will return her to the calm and happy self she was for a few weeks. I guess if it is true mania coming on then amantadine won't help, and we will know. Know what, you ask? Not sure myself.